not!fic where the Sharps own Kaner and Tazer keeps borrowing him

So Veronica and I were talking about Sharp/Kane and that fic where Sharp seemed very invested in how much money Kane would ask for to get fucked, and this happened.

"Why do you even need a menial?" Jonny asks Sharpie. "You’re married."

Sharpie eyes him. Says, “Spoken like a true bachelor,” wry.

Then Jonny visits them and this menial is just. Unfairly pretty and he smiles and Jonny can’t.

Sharpie asks if Jonny wants a taste.

Jonny spends that night in the Sharps’ guest room with the menial sharing his bed. In the morning the bed is empty, and Jonny smells bacon.

Pat’s making breakfast in his boxers and nothing else. Jonny watches as Sharpie ambles out of the bedroom and wraps around Pat, large hands sweeping down Pat’s naked chest.

Then Abby walks out of the room, handing Sharpie a squalling baby while taking his position rubbing up against Pat. Jonny sags.

To make everything worse, the bacon is fucking delicious and there are waffles and Jonny’s stabbing his plate in annoyance of how good everything is.

Sharpie makes Pat sit in his lap and hand-feeds him bacon. Jonny drops his fork three separate times.

"Get to practice on time," Jonny snaps, practically fleeing Sharpie’s smug wave and Abby’s fond smile.

He comes back a week later furious, eyes downcast, and when Pat lets him in Jonny won’t even look at him until Abby says, “Pat, be a dear, pet Jonny some.”

That’s how Jonny ends up lounging boneless over the Sharps’ couch while Pat rubs his shoulders. Sharpie records the noises Jonny makes and threatens daily to give them to their teammates, or - when he’s feeling really vicious - to the press.

Jonny totally does not imagine all of them together in bed at once, whether they let Pat top or whether they just use his mouth. He’s good with his mouth.